Overparented Children: What Behaviors Do They Exhibit as Adults?

Overparenting, also known as helicopter parenting, has become a topic of great interest and concern in recent years.

It refers to a parenting style characterized by excessive involvement, control, and protection in a child’s life.

While parents may have the best intentions at heart, overparenting can have long-lasting negative effects on children as they grow into adulthood.

This article probes deeply into the various behaviors often exhibited by adults who were overparented as children, helping us understand the consequences of this parenting style and providing insights on how to recognize and address these behaviors in ourselves or others.

The Overparenting Phenomenon

In order to understand the behaviors of adults who were overparented as children, it’s important to first explore the concept of overparenting itself. This phenomenon has become increasingly common as parents strive to provide the best for their children, often driven by fear, societal pressure, and a desire for their children to succeed.

1. Excessive control: Overparenting often involves parents exerting excessive control over their children’s lives, from their activities and friendships to their education and career choices.
2. Overprotection: Overprotective parents try to shield their children from any potential harm, both physical and emotional, by solving problems for them and preventing them from facing challenges.
3. Overinvolvement: Parents who are overly involved in their children’s lives may constantly monitor their activities, make decisions for them, and even step in to handle conflicts or confrontation on their behalf.

These overparenting tendencies may be well-intentioned, but they can result in a variety of negative outcomes for children in the long run. As these children grow into adulthood, they are more likely to exhibit certain behaviors that stem from their overparented upbringing.

Dependency and a Lack of Autonomy

One of the most prominent behaviors observed in adults who were overparented as children is a lack of autonomy and a greater dependency on others. This results from the constant involvement and control exercised by their parents, which often prevents them from developing essential life skills and decision-making abilities.

• Difficulty making decisions: Overparented adults may struggle to make decisions on their own, as they have become accustomed to their parents making choices for them. This can lead to indecisiveness, anxiety, and even paralysis in decision-making.
• Reliance on others: These individuals may also exhibit a heightened reliance on others, expecting their partners, friends, or colleagues to take care of them, solve their problems, and make their decisions for them.
• Struggling with everyday tasks: Adults who were overparented as children may lack basic life skills such as budgeting, cooking, or managing household chores, as their parents often took care of these tasks for them.

These behaviors can hinder an individual’s ability to navigate the adult world independently and may lead to strained relationships, underachievement, and a lack of self-confidence.

Impaired Emotional Regulation and Resilience

Another significant behavior observed in adults who were overparented as children is their struggle with emotional regulation and resilience. Due to their parents’ overprotective nature, they were often shielded from difficulties and disappointments, leaving them ill-equipped to handle the inevitable ups and downs of adult life.

1. Difficulty managing emotions: Overparented adults may have difficulty managing their emotions, as they were never given the opportunity to develop healthy coping mechanisms. This can result in mood swings, emotional outbursts, or a tendency to become easily overwhelmed by stress.
2. Limited resilience: These individuals may also exhibit a lack of resilience, struggling to bounce back from setbacks or adapt to change. They may become easily discouraged or overwhelmed when facing challenges, as they have not had the opportunity to develop their problem-solving skills.
3. Anxiety and depression: The combination of impaired emotional regulation and limited resilience can contribute to a higher prevalence of anxiety and depression among adults who were overparented as children.

Developing emotional regulation and resilience is crucial for navigating the many challenges and changes that adult life brings. Without these abilities, overparented adults may struggle to maintain their mental and emotional well-being.

Impaired Social Skills and Relationships

Adults who were overparented as children may also struggle with social skills and relationships as a result of their parents’ excessive involvement in their lives. This overinvolvement often stifled the development of crucial interpersonal skills and created unhealthy relationship dynamics.

• Difficulty forming and maintaining relationships: Overparented adults may struggle to form and maintain healthy relationships, as they have not developed the necessary communication, compromise, and conflict resolution skills. They may also have unrealistic expectations of relationships, expecting their partners to provide the same level of care and attention that their parents did.
• Inability to handle conflict: Due to their parents’ tendency to intervene and solve problems for them, these individuals may be ill-equipped to handle conflict in their personal and professional lives. They may avoid confrontation or become easily overwhelmed when faced with disagreements.
• Struggling with boundaries: Overparented adults may struggle to establish and maintain healthy boundaries in their relationships, as their parents often blurred the lines between their own needs and those of their children. This can lead to codependency, enmeshment, or a lack of respect for others’ boundaries.

Healthy relationships are built on communication, compromise, and mutual respect. Adults who were overparented as children may need to work on developing these skills in order to foster fulfilling connections with others.

The consequences of overparenting can be far-reaching and long-lasting, impacting various aspects of an individual’s adult life. From struggles with autonomy and decision-making to impaired emotional regulation and resilience, the effects of overparenting can hinder an individual’s ability to navigate the adult world independently and confidently. Furthermore, the development of social skills and the ability to form and maintain healthy relationships may also be affected by this parenting style. Recognizing and addressing these behaviors in ourselves or others is crucial for personal growth and the development of a balanced, fulfilling life. While overcoming the effects of overparenting may be challenging, it is possible to develop the skills and resilience necessary to thrive as an adult.